In 1980, while working in a warehouse, Lane Courtney takes stock in the family myth that he is a direct descendant of Reginald Fitz Urse, one of the knights who martyred Saint Becket in 1170. His laconic, autobiographical reflections are interwoven with numerous misadventures as he hangs out at the Hotel Isabella and the Warwick's infamous strip lounge, associating with angry prostitutes, errant bikers and speed freaks.

Whether he is getting high on crystal meth, getting sick on the subway tracks, causing a scene in the lobby of a mental hospital, or being chased down by a woman with a broken bottle, Courtney is going nowhere. A romantic relationship with a volatile stripper that becomes increasingly complicated once she becomes pregnant only adds to the chaos of his life.

Courtney later heads west where both his lack of direction and the fame that rewards those who kill the famous come into clear focus with the murder of John Lennon. Cultivating the insane idea of shooting President Reagan to uphold the family name, he makes ready to head for Washington D.C., but before he arrives this last-ditch effort at success is derailed by historical events he could not have foreseen.